On Looking Young and Vibrant

INTRODUCTION
In February 2009 I received an email from Germany. D. spoke about vanity and the concept of aging. What follows is his email (in gray) with my responses in between (orange). Please share any constructive thoughts that might pop up.

Hi D, Thanks for your contribution. I will respond directly during the process of reading your letter for the first time.

Hello Gibbon, first off let me say you've done a great job creating your site, especially in adressing topics that are often shamefully ignored in the 'spiritual scene' (like sexuality). Thanks I just read your thoughts on aging, hair loss, vanity etc. You invited discussion, so there you have it :-)

There is a psychological observation in certain people -- the fear of fear. Put short, if you are avoiding vanity "because it is based on fear", what else are you doing than to avoid fear? And for what reason? Do you fear fear because it might get you off track? How about simply getting on track again later?

Yes, the fear of fear. That's just another kind of fear isn't it? It is not that I fear fears in general. I think it is a good think to confront yourself with any lingering fears within your system, like I said in my latest essay, I noticed the fear of closing my heart again. What I have found to be important in dealing with fears is that it is ok as long as you don't get stuck in that vibration too long.

So, it is not to say that I fear fear, but I think it is rather useless to invest too much time in sustaining a certain fear. It is like looking at some kind of addiction in which you have the choice to indulge in it again, knowing that it will lower your vibration, or you can choose not to go for the addiction and move your attention to other matters. I don't think that this latest choice is really based on fear, but to me it seems more like it is based on something like acquired knowledge.

I think paying too much attention to vanity is a way to drain yourself of energy. It seems quite sensible for me not to spend too much time on vanity then. Not that this really works too much: I still cherish the fact that there is still quite some hair on my head for instance, but I wouldn't want to spend my days worrying about becoming balder and balder.

In the sense that no matter what fear you encounter something within us will guide us back on track? Yes, I believe in such a thing, although I also believe that you are a co-creator and that you can decide to make long detours or shorter ones.

I think part of the 'polarity integration game' we're in (to my understanding anyway) is to transcend this attitude of avoidance. Nothing wrong with uprooting fear, learning the lessons and removing restrictions. But as it's all an up and down, I see no problem with trying / allowing different points of view over time. So vanity, like everything, is not entirely 'bad'.

Yes, I agree with you. But I don't think it is a useful approach to go on an activate fears just out of the desire to activate fears. Like I said, I think there is a big difference between avoidance out of fear or avoidance out of having experienced the negative aspects of certain choices.

When you avoid drinking a lot of alcohol are you expressing an attitude of avoidance, or are you just making choices based on experience? I think this is the big difference. And like you say when you haven't experienced how 'bad' it can be to get addicted to something or to feel the fear related to some event you'd better get that experience and learn from it. Only then can you learn how to make choices that are keeping you on track.

Neither is identifying that which you do not want because that can actually help you defining what you do want. And if you want to be attractive, youthful looking, that's not just for you but for all you interact with. Sure, nobody wants to be liked for looks alone, but the same applies to intellect, knowledge, 'wisdom' etc. It's the whole package, and leaving one aspect out of the equation (because it'd be 'vain') does not make sense.

Yes, I understand your point and in reality I do make sure that I look well-cared for so to say. It is a complicated thing though. I know that I could spend a lot of time in worrying about how I might look in 5 years and if people would still like to go out with me when I might lose more hair, and especially after my divorce a number of years ago. But I don't think that is a fruitful path to walk, so I prefer to invest energy in more beneficial thoughts.

Vanity can take many forms, and if someone happens to be ugly, they can still be very fond of their ideas, eloquence, knowledge, wit or whatever. None of all that is as scorned in the 'spiritual' scene as caring for one's physical appearance is. In fact, even some spiritual teachers (think Bhagwan/Osho) are disgustingly vain in their self- righteousness.

Yes, I cherish the view on life that I have developed during the years, I like the path towards my heart and I am in a way proud on what I have achieved so far. Perhaps this is a kind of vanity.

There may come a time when you automatically go beyond vanity (like with materialism), but I think that point cannot be magically conjured up. In avoiding 'vanity', you are at the same time worshipping it, acknowledging it as a mighty foe. It is only as mighty as you make it!

Like I said, I don't think I'm fearing vanity that much.

I am aware that I am presenting circular arguments here, and you are free to take them or not. But in the end, the answer to any question might be stunningly simple. In the end, it might be all about self- incurring circles (in lack of a better 3D representation of an abstract idea).

Yes, I write about circles and loops (for example in Da Vinci caught in a Loop? and Love this Loop) as well.

Yes, that seems to be the Eastern way of being spiritual. That's one of the reasons why I want to invest in the further exploration of sexuality relating to heart-consciousness and different layers of harmlessness. I like to compare it to idea that it is wrong to watch TV. Some 'new agers' refuse to watch TV because they think it is wrong and bad. But if they would decide to sit for the TV they might actually enjoy it a lot. Some other folk discover that watching tv really drains them of their energy and they decide not to watch TV again (or at least hardly). These two reasons for not watching tv are completely different in my point of view.

I disagree. We are here for a reason, and my conviction is that neither pain, poverty, sickness, aging, despair, struggle or any other scourge humanity has time and again been faced with have any real value. At the risk of citing shallow 'new age talk' here, I do believe that life is indeed supposed to be fun.

Yes, and I feel that life is more enjoyable and pleasurable the more harmful thought-patterns I am able to identify and transform. The more I am able to tune into my heart, the funnier and more joyful life becomes.

Sure, you can have fun in the bodily condition of a typical 80-ish person (provided the sun does not get too hot and you don't forget to bring your walking cane). But the potential for it is definitely much higher in a young and vibrant body.

Certainly, there is a lesson behind everything, but as one wise soul once said "the only purpose of suffering is to teach you that you do not need to suffer". Would life be boring without those scourges? Certainly, if you make it so.

Yes, I believe that there is always a moving current within you as soon as you are able to remove the 'harmful' patterns or thoughts. If you suffer and experience life as suffering a lot, it won't be easy to get access to that moving current within. As soon as you remove the idea of 'I am suffering' the flow is likely to surface.

No, I think the older the body gets the more decayed it will become. That is not something to really look forward to. I think our genetics have become severely hampered because of all kinds of things that are spoken of in the SSOA-articles. I like to think that by addressing harmfulness we can remove the dirt in our genes which might allow us to, well, regain some characteristics of a regenerating biological system, or in other words: to remain physically more vibrant.

Do you believe in time frames? Do you think at 80 you are more prone to wisdom than, say, at 30? Any such notion would imply that we enter this world in a state of 'tabula rasa' which ultimately cannot be the truth given the phantastic talents and profound insight even our youngest people exhibit. But I think we do not have to argue about that part.

I include the idea of many reincarnations and the idea of connectedness to ancestors and the idea of genetic connections and abilities to tune into certain vibratory bands. What this means is that indeed a person of 30 years old could hold a much higher vibration than someone who is 80 years old. On top of that many people become more and more mechanised as they grow older. It depends on many factors as far as I can say, including the severity of the topics and the heaviness of your thoughts within your system.

So I say it doesn't matter how 'old' you are. Likewise, it does not matter how 'old' you are supposed to be by the way you look. IOW, there is no virtue in aging. That's a myth. Unless you expect other people to respect you more by means of a 'mature look' (and again, 'being respected' might also be considered 'vain'), there is no need and no purpose.

I haven't looked at it in that way: turning older (I'm 38 years old now, how old are you?) making you look more wise!? Like I said I have seen to many old people who weren't wise at all, but just more mechanized. I do tend to believe that if you carry within you a higher vibration of thoughts your body is more joyful and it would tend to appear younger and more vibrant.

Seen from that perspective looking younger could mean that you are wiser. However there are also many young people who simple look young because they are young and not because they are so wise.

I see a link here with the other 'grand enemy of spiritual growth' -- money. Same issues there. Don't be motivated by fear (of lack). Find the joy in it. Learn about the 'service' part. In german, "to earn" is "verdienen". As one quite clever man pointed out, that can be broken down to "ver-dienen". And "dienen" translates into "to serve". Money can be a great means to serve. For example by actually enabling you to do what you came here to do.

Yes, I'm Dutch so the word 'verdienen' ist ähnlich in Holländisch. As far as money is concerned I like the idea of abundance as it is defined by the SSOA. I don't make enormous amounts of money but I always have enough for what I want to do in my life. I don't spend too much time on needing to earn a lot of money: I just make sure to have enought to have a pleasant life. I don't see money as something inherently bad. It is just a kind of energy and the way you deal with it is what matters.

That depends. If your goal is to radiate energy, health and youth I don't agree with you. If your goal is to raise your vibration and to learn how to connect to heart-consciousness more and the side-effect of that is to radiate energy, health and youth I agree with you.

Watch this interview: Interview Frost with Jean Michele Jarre

Now who would you rather be around, or talk to -- the 'younger' or the 'older' man? I can promise you a big surprise when you learn about the actual 'age' difference between the two!

Well, If he made his debut some 30 years ago he must be around 50.

Well, make that 61 and 70 apparently.

If you prefer the archetypical, awe-inspiring 'Gandalf' type sage for your own bodily appearance several years down the road, that's OK. After all, we have free will. But chances are that you will not only grow a nice white beard; but also get some serious health issues contained in the 'aging thoughtform' (which I am not going to specify here because I do not want to hypnotize anyone even further into that direction).

I'm not quite sure what you are trying to say here. Jean Michele Jarre might look so young because he has had a few surgical operations and has dyed his hair or perhaps he is wearing a wig. The older man (about 70 as you have shown me) looks more like the typical 70 year old male. I just hope that I would prefer to be around the person who has the most interesting things to share, who has those characteristics that I like in people. What I am saying here is that I wouldn't necessary prefer to sit and talk to a Gandalf-kind of person. Something I prefer to sit around my nephew who is 13 years old, who can often say very wise things.

But Jean Michele Jarre might be an enormous prick as well no matter how young he looks.

If I remember correctly I have written about the 'aging thoughtform' (it is an oldy) in the sense that it might be that because we all seem to share the idea of having to grow older and uglier and less healthy, we are actually continuing the existence of that thought-form or 'meme'.

I don't think there are or were so many differences in our points of view.

If you like to, read Christan D. Larson's book (pdf). I am not sure if this enigmatic author (nobody seems to know much about him) has the whole picture, but on the general philosophical level, he has got many wonderful and inspiring arguments. Certainly an important part of the puzzle.

I hardly read books these days. Somehow they seem to arouse so many thoughts that I would like to work out that I hardly am able to finish any book these days. I prefer to use the experiences within my own life to trigger me into reaching for less harmful thoughts and to make fears surface that I can then try to remove (and not to avoid! haha)